“Anyone who fasts and engages in self-evaluation in Ramadan will find heaven”. Hadith of Prophet Muhammad
While fasting is widely practiced in the Muslim community, Prophet Muhammad’s advice on self-evaluation has been forgotten. Self-evaluation means to assess where you are in life and think of how it can be better in the future.
Often we hear people say: “I am unhappy with such and such aspects of my life”. Instead of ignoring your problems, or complaining about them, it is better to spend time to think of ways of making life better.
It is possible for everyone to move towards the life they want by making systematic changes month by month and year by year. A happy life is a balanced life and we can aim to succeed in all its aspects. Everyone’s life is different but some areas are important to most people:
–spiritual practice
–happiness in relationships
–quality of health
–financial freedom
–professional success
Spirituality:
Prayer (salat, dua, zikr) is the most important practice of faith. For prayer to help us we must be conscious of what we say. Prayer performed as a ritual in which we are not aware of its meaning damages us, as pointed out in sura 107, ayas 4-5:
There is calamity for those who pray,
who are unmindful in their prayer.
Praying by speaking Arabic words you don’t understand causes confusion because the mind looks for meaning, and not finding any wanders in different directions. These haphazard thoughts become your prayer. We all have seen people who have been praying in this fashion for years and their lives have become empty, weak or aimless.
Prophet Muhammad said that: Prayer is your conversation with God. Prophet Muhammad prayed in his own language, with words he deeply understood. Our prayer will also become meaningful if we think deeply about what we say. Prophet Muhammad said also that: An hour of reflection is better for you than a year of prayer.
Mindful prayer is the major resource for a person of faith because what we say to God knowingly and repeatedly can come to us, as it is promised in aya (14:34): He gives you something out of everything you ask for.
Find time to understand and personalize your words in prayer.
Relationships
Everyone’s relationships with their spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends and colleagues at work are a mixture of satisfaction and frustration.
Think of ways by which your happy relationships can be strengthened.
For a relationship that is a persistent source of stress, just blaming the other person is not going to help. You have to figure out positive ways of making it better; often this requires a major effort.
You have to decide if a relationship is beyond repair so it is better to discontinue it.
Health
We are blessed to live at a time when healthy food and facilities for exercise are easily available. You can live a long and healthy life and not have the diseases of your parents and grandparents by choosing a healthy lifestyle.
If you do not exercise regularly, how can you adjust your schedule to make time for it?
Identify an unhealthy habit you have and decide to give it up.
Should you consult a Nutritionist to optimize your eating habits?
Finances
A lot of the stress in people’s lives comes from money. Studies show that a majority of the discord in marriages is due to differences in approach to handling finances.
- Look through your expenses to make sure they don’t exceed your income for the year.
- Invest part of your income to create security in the future.
- An important teaching in the Quran is that God returns to us multiples of what we give in charity. You can thrive by regularly contributing a portion of your income to worthwhile causes.
Profession
Do you like what you do for a living? If not, spend time to develop a plan to change your work. Unhappiness at work is a major stress for many people and it affects all aspects of their lives.
If you like your profession, think of how to improve the quality of your work. For example, which books you will read or workshops you will attend in the coming year to improve your professional competence.
Prophet Muhammad is a role model because he created a multi-dimensional life of lasting impact, having started in humble circumstances. Regular self-assessment is one of his practices. In the hadith we are discussing: “Anyone who fasts and engages in self-evaluation in Ramadan will find heaven”, self-assessment is mentioned in the context of Ramadan, possibly because in this month people change their daily routines and there is a greater opportunity to think about one’s life. But for the Prophet and his companions self-evaluation was also a weekly and daily practice.
A person becomes what he or she thinks about most of the time. If the thoughts in your mind always revolve around what is going on at present, you remain trapped in it. In order to have a better life, you have to think what it should be like. That is the purpose of self-evaluation. Dua or supplication is a means to ask God’s help in getting there.
However, in order to benefit from this wisdom we have to actually do it. For this to be possible, you have to first reform your belief that Ramadan is a ritual based only on food. Think of Ramadan as an opportunity to create a path such that your life by next Ramadan will be better than it is today. You can benefit from self-evaluation even if you are not fasting.
I recommend that you set aside some time every day to think about your life, until you have a list of actions to take in the coming year. Then set aside time every week to review your plans, note your progress, or lack thereof, and make adjustments to your plans.