Exalt Your Character

Nun. By the pen and that which they inscribe

Thou are not, by the blessing of thy Lord, possessed

Truly thine shall be a reward unceasing

And truly thou art of an exalted character (68:1-4)

These words were revealed to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in Surah 68 of the Quran, entitled, The Pen (al-Qalam). In this aya, God is reassuring the prophet (pbuh) during a time of doubt and worry. He tells the prophet (pbuh) that he is not going crazy. In fact, the case is quite the opposite. The prophet (pbuh) is told he has an exalted character. What can we learn from these important ayas?

First, we can see that if we believe in God, He can provide encouragement and support when we are having doubts about ourselves or feeling bad about who we are. Most of us struggle with negative thoughts about ourselves, at least intermittently, if not frequently. We feel bad about the choices we have made, what we have achieved, how we look, and how successful we are. This thought pattern is often rooted in childhood and can persist for years. Such thoughts rob us of our joy, ruin our relationships, stall our growth, and limit our future potential.

During times of self-doubt, this aya can serve as a boon if we recall it in our prayers and imagine God speaking it to us. Through its words, we can feel God thinking well of us, even if we do not think well of ourselves. We can strive for the reward He wishes to give us, even if we feel we don’t deserve it. In this manner, we are more likely to dispel some of the negative thoughts in our mind and feel better about ourselves.  We can remind ourselves that the prophets had huge worries and disappointments but their faith in God helped them dispel self-doubt. We can do the same.

Second, these ayas remind us of the importance Islam places on character and how closely it is tied with God’s reward. A hadith by Abu Huraira states: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) was asked, “What admits most people into Paradise?” The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Fear of Allah and good character.” (Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2004) Another hadith tells us, “Nothing is placed on the scales of a believer that is weightier than beauty of character; and one who has beauty of character will reach thereby the degree of one who prays and fasts” (Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2002)

Most of us wish to fix our flaws and improve ourselves but find it difficult to do so. A good starting point is to ask God for help. Even the prophet (pbuh), who had an exemplary character, would say to God, “You have made my appearance beautiful, now make my character beautiful.” If the prophet asked God to for such assistance, shouldn’t we? We ask God readily for better health, wealth and prosperity. This aya reminds us to also ask God to exalt our character.  

It is especially important to ask God to make our bad traits go away since they often cause others harm, hurt our sense of self, make life difficult, and distance us from God’s reward. It would be an understatement to say that there are many problematic character traits we can see in ourselves, in others, and in our communities. Let us focus on a few traits, common in today’s society that warrant correction:

  1. Materialism – Human beings are never satisfied with their material possessions. We want more and more money, homes, cars, jewelry, you name it. We spend an enormous amount of time collecting these items and then replacing them with newer, bigger, and more expensive items. It is important to look deep inside and asses how happy our material possessions make us. Look around your dwelling, your closets, your car – how numerous and extravagant are the things you have? Resist the urge to buy more, regardless of what you see your coworkers, friends, and family doing. A worthwhile exercise is to assess where you stand compared to your fellow man in terms of your wealth. A Google search can tell you how much more you have compared to the average person in your country. It is an eye-opening experience to find out how many children are homeless and hungry or how many individuals are living with crushing debt, and in poverty. This research will give us a sense of how fortunate we are to be in the economic strata we are in. Maybe such understanding would curtail our desire for more and more. Maybe such understanding would prompt us to be more charitable. Just ten minutes of time researching this topic is enlightening. And knowing this information can change our perspective on what we truly need or want and what we owe others around us.
  • Envy – If others’ success makes you upset or angry, if you deeply want what others have and resent them for having it, if you secretly smile when others suffer setbacks, you are feeling envy. Recognizing that you have such feelings requires honest introspection. After you have admitted to yourself that you suffer from envy, you should resolve to diminish its place in your thoughts. Envy is rooted in low self-esteem and a feeling that you don’t measure up to others. It can be a very destructive emotion and is considered sinful in many religions, including Islam. Think deeply about why you feel your life is deficient compared to others. Spend less time on social media exposing yourself to what others are doing, where they are going, and what they have. Remember that nobody has it all and that God did not make life a zero-sum game. When good things happen to others, it doesn’t reduce your chances of having good things happen to you too. Celebrate the success of others. Shift your focus on what you have and learn to become more grateful. You will likely come to realize that you have more than enough already and much of what you are wishing for is superficial.
  • Anger – Anger is a destructive emotion, common in individuals, in families, in communities, and in nations. On an individual level it is a major source of interpersonal conflict and on a national level it can easily lead to war.  All across the world, including the Muslim world, there is an urgent need to bring the temperature down in ourselves, in our homes, in our workplaces, in our communities, on social media, and in our nations. Think about the last few times you lost your temper. What was the net outcome of that situation?  Most of us will end up regretting our words and actions. And every time we lose our temper, we become angrier at baseline because anger begets anger. Of course, anger can wreak havoc on our health. Thus, it is imperative to gain control of anger before it becomes ingrained in us.  There are many hadith that provide advice on controlling anger. Here are three examples:  

a) Seek refuge in God – The prophet (pbuh) said, “I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says ‘I see refuge in God from Satan’, then all his anger will go away.”

b) Change your position – The prophet (pbuh) said, “Whenever one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down, If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.”

c) Stay quiet – The prophet (pbuh) said, “If one of you becomes angry then he should stay silent.”

In addition to hadith, there are numerous anger management techniques we can avail ourselves of, including many that are freely available online. Gaining control of our anger is of paramount importance. Once we do, we can become happier, healthier, and less likely to harm others.

  • Idle Talk – The Quran warns us repeatedly to avoid idle talk. In 74: 42-45, it is written: “What led you into Saqar? They say we were not among those who prayed, nor did we feed the indigent; and we engaged in vain discourse with those who do the same.” In the prophet’s (pbuh) time, vain discourse occurred primarily via the spoken word.  Today, such behavior also occurs on TV, radio, the internet, and social media.  A major consequence of useless talk is that it wastes our precious time. The prophets and their sahabas had as much time as we do – 24 hours a day. What did they accomplish in these 24 hours? What does any person of great success do in 24 hours that we are not doing?

People who waste hours each day listening, speaking, reading, or posting insignificant information on social media are not focusing on why they are here on earth, what their life’s purpose is. Even worse is that the things they speak are likely causing harm to themselves and others. Many are escaping into hours of wasted time to avoid dealing with life’s problems. Imagine what the world would look and feel like if humans shifted the time they spend on idle talk into making life better for themselves, their families, and their communities. Take stock of how many hours you waste each day on the internet, on social media, on silly text messages, on TV, or video games.

Try to schedule time each day for introspection, setting goals for yourself, creating an agenda for the important projects you would like to accomplish but have been putting off. Be sure to include your own spiritual growth and your relationship with God in your life’s goals. Such discipline will help you accomplish more of what is good to do in the limited time we have here on earth.

The above traits are just a few examples of character flaws that hurt us individually and at a societal level. There are of course, countless other examples. Wise people are able to admit their flaws and resolve to fix them. It is worthwhile to write down a few traits that are most troubling to you and strategize how you can overcome them. Mark your progress over time in your journal. Discuss your goals with a trusted family member or friend. Seek counseling if you need help overcoming traits that you are especially ashamed of.  

Another helpful strategy includes spending time with good people as the ideas learned from others are especially powerful. The prophet recognized this fact and said “Comport with the people of good character.” It goes without saying that the best example of good character was the prophet (pbuh) himself. We are fortunate to have a treasure trove of hadith that describe what he did, said, and thought. We can read his biography and those of the companions for inspiration. We can think about what traits they were known for and try to incorporate these traits into ourselves.

Undoubtedly, improving one’s character is hard work. It takes honesty, effort, practice, and patience. It is part of what Muslims have always identified as the inner jihad of purifying our souls. With some discipline we can undertake the process of internal struggle to make ourselves better people.

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